Hello, Bleederz one and all to Episode 18 of The Bleed! So, it finally will happen. Marvel’s Mightiest Heroes will finally go up against the Children of the Atom! AVENGERS VS. X-MEN! It’s the battle royale of the decade, and I’m happy to announce that the eXpertComics Retail Store in scenic Lasalle, Quebec will be having an Official AvX Launch party on April 3rd 2011 at 8 P.M. Customers in attendance will be getting their hands on an advance copy of Avengers vs. X-Men #1, as well as yummy exclusives like posters, pins, programs and more!!! And you will find out which side our store has sided with! It‘s top-secret, I’m not allowed to divulge here whether a store like eXpertComics will side with the Avengers or the X-Men!! All’s I know is it will be eXcting and eXtraordinaryon April 3rd....at eXpertComics! Check for more details on ourevents pagein the coming months, kids!
I am a huge fan of both teams. I really only started reading Avengerscomics religiously in the Bendisera. Over the years, the franchise has become one of my favorites. As far as the X-Men are concerned, that’s something quite a bit more personal. As I have said many times in this column, X-Men was one of the comics that made me fall in love with comics! The costumes, characters and general concept impacted me at such a young age and I have been a fan ever since. So needless to say, I am pretty torn when it comes to this one. Now I know Marvel has released awesome teasers featuring AvX matchups, and they are great! But to prepare for the big eXpert Launch Party, I will share with Bleeder Nation my own Avengers vs. X-Men dream match-ups that I believe would just rock! I will break down each match-up and try to figure out who I think would win this smackdown for the ages!
Captain America vs. Cyclops
I don’t know why the X-Men and the Avengers are going to go at it, but I BETCHA it has to do with a disagreement with these two guys! Scott Summers and Steve Rogers were once trusted allies and super-heroes that have fought side-by-side many times. Recently however, they have been given huge responsibilities and are men that have been impacted by the events this darker harsher Marvel Universe has thrusted upon them. Cap and Cyke will sacrifice anything to protect their respective people. They are both good guys, but if it came down to the safety of the American people or the survival of mutantkind, I’m not too sure how far they’d go to win this scrap.
Winner: Captain America. Cyclops has been fighting and training since he was a teenager, but in a one-on-one fight, hardly anyone can match the skills of Captain America.
Iron Man vs. Magneto
I don’t think people realize exactly WHY this is such an awesome matchup. It’s not that we want to see Iron Man get crushed into a little ping pong ball to while Magneto dialogues over how much he despises mankind. Don’t count out Tony Stark out. Ever. He most definitely has an anti-Magneto armor made completely out of plastics or some kind of non-metal polymer or SOMETHING. He HAS SOMETHING up his sleeve if he ever found himself in a fight against The Master of Magnetism. And he probably made it while chatting with a supermodel over the phone.
Winner: Magneto. I know I just made a case as to why this wouldn’t be an easy matchup for him. Nevertheless, Magneto is the most conniving, wily, sneaky sonamagun in the Marvel U. With an armor made of non-metals, Tony may get a few good licks in, but Magneto has the uncanny ability to find metal no matter where he is. Whether it is in the environment around him or even the iron in a person’s bloodstream...he’ll find something metal around, and use it to eliminate his enemy. And after all, there is a person made of flesh and blood inside that armor.
Red Hulk vs. Colossus ..Juggernaut...Colossusnaut!
GEEZ! Colossus is now Juggernaut. Red Hulk is now an Avenger. In every great team fight, the two strongest dudes should always go at it...except maybe this time, because the end results would just be plain scary. This single fight would probably take out half of New York!
Winner: Colossusnaut. Piotir Rasputin is hardly even himself anymore since becoming the avatar of Cyttorak. He’s unstable and unstoppable. Red Hulk in his own right is no joke and could possibly be even more powerful than the classic green Hulk, but I mean, this is Juggernaut AND Colossus combined into one big ball of badass! I don’t know if the combined efforts of ALL the Avengers can stop him, to be honest. The X-Men having this ticking time bomb on their roster could very well mean they’ve won this thing already. It’s stopping him once he’s started that will definitely become a problem for them very soon.
Ms. Marvel vs. Emma Frost
Okay, this is just a fight I’d like to see. For many reasons that I’m sure I don’t have to explain. Let’s just hope it’s an epic battle pitting Carol’s strength and speed against Emma’s telepathic trickery and ice cold arrogance...and costume tearing. Lots of costume tearing. In the rain. Preferably drawn by Frank Cho.
Winner: Emma Frost. I went with her simply because her power set makes her quite formidable, but really it all matters on the conditions of the fight. Y’know, if Emma can switch back to human form in time to shut down Carol’s brain before she can punch her out...and how slippery and wet the jello is. Stuff like that. Moving on.
Hawkeye vs. Gambit
This will be an awesome one-on-one battle with two of the sleekest fighters in all of Marvel lore. Just seeing Hawkeye trying to hit Gambit’s cards in mid-air with his arrows is well worth the charge of any comic book. Really, they have so much in common! They both are expert marksmen, they both have excellent track records with the ladies and they both have the ability to make wearing colors like pink and purple look cool!
Winner: Hawkeye. It surely won’t be an easy fight to win for Clint, but over the years Hawkeye has just proven just how good he is. Powers or no, his combat expertise is just slightly above Gambit’s level. But if that Emma Frost vs. Ms. Marvel tussle is anywhere near this one, both these womanizers would be far too distracted to finish their fight. Can’t blame them, really.
Protector vs. Namor
There was a time when Namor may’ve been on the other team...but times have changed and the king of Atlantis has decided to join his fellow mutants. Both of these guys have never quite felt at ease on the surface of Earth and both have been seen as threats at one time or another. And neither one would hesitate to attempt to take the other out if ordered to. This would be a fight between two arrogant and powerful guys and their individual egos would clash as easily as their fists.
Winner: Namor. With a glorious yell of “IMPERIUS REX!” Namor would pretty easily put Noh-Varr down for the count, I’d think. Unless Noh has some Kree gadget to dry out Namor before he can get to any water (and he just might), The Sub-Mariner just has the strength, ferocity and experience that The Protector has yet to acquire.
Vision vs. Danger
Otherwise known as Rock ‘Em Sock ‘Em Robots: Marvel Edition! Of course we’d love to see the X-Men’s resident android chick square off with the newly re-assembled Vision. I’m just not sure how long this scrap would last before things got freaky between these two...you know what I’m talkin’ about. Robo-lust cannot be contained.
Winner: Danger. I wanted to give this to Vision. I really did. I just think Danger is so powerful with her hacking skills that ‘Ol Vishy wouldn’t have a chance against her. She would just take him over and use him as her puppet. Proving that even mechanized men are weak when it comes to a confident woman with a nice set of...hubcaps?
Spider-Man vs. Deadpool
Oh the hilarity! The one-liners would be coming from all directions! I don’t know if X-Forcer Deadpool actually applies for Avengers vs. X-Men, but there is no X-Guy I’d rather see go one-on-one with Spidey! And Deadpool would most likely point out how he’s never really involved with Marvel’s big fancy events. Breaking the 4th wall is so hip and fun!
Winner: Spider-Man. While this fight will be the funniest comic book fight in a while, even Spidey will eventually get tired of Deadpool’s babbling and pull off some phenomenal move, putting him down for the count. Because beating the crap outta annoying guys with ease is kinda what Spider-Man does.
Squirrel Girl vs. Pixie
Go ahead, call me a 10 year old girl. It wouldn’t be the first time. But hey, ya gotta throw in a fight for the fan-GIRLS out there too. Squirrel Girl has proven recently in the pages of New Avengers that she is more than she seems, and can even be capable of catching Wolverine off guard! She may be a sweet, naive super-nanny by day, but she can surely creep you out by controlling tons of squirrels to run up and stare you down in the late afternoon, let me tell ya! Scary stuff. Pixie on the other hand has powers that make you trip out like you ate expired pop-tarts (Okay, that’s a lie. Pop-tarts never go bad. And if they did, they never would, because they are deliciousness.) This fight would no doubt be a lot of high-pitched yelling and I’m pretty sure “poopy-head” would be said at one point.
Winner: Pixie?! I guess? She has a certain mean streak after being attacked by an anti-mutant gang awhile ago that would maybe catch Squirrely by surprise. I’m pretty sure I’m the only one that would ever think of a fight with this level of aloof cuteness, so I’m not worrying too much about it.
Iron Fist vs. Psylocke
Okay, here I just wanna see an old-fashioned martial arts fight. How awesome would it be to see these two go tooth and nail? Originally, it was difficult to find an Avenger that could match Psylocke’s physical and super-human abilities, but I think Danny Rand fits that job quite nicely. In fact, now that he is an Immortal Weapon of Agamotto, he may be over qualified!
Winner: Iron Fist. Granted, if Betsy can tag him with one of those psychic knives of hers, he may be a goner, but I don’t think that would happen. Iron Fist has been on his a-game since joining the A-Team. And I think while it would be an entertaining fight, he would eventually do his ...glowy hand deal and take her down. (It was pretty hard to not make that overly suggestive, you have no idea)
These are just SOME of the fun matchups I dreamed up! How about Dr. Strange vs. Magik, Mockingbird vs. Shadowcat, Daredevil vs. Domino or Warpath vs. Luke Cage?! The possibilities are endless, I suppose. Here’s hoping that this huge event is going to be as big as it potentially could be!
Now, I guess you guys have noticed that a few characters I have neglected to mention. Namely, Wolverine, Storm, Beast and X-23. That’s because they are all involved with BOTH the X-Men and Avengers. Marvel’s teasers have suggested that they will be on the X-side, and Storm just may be since she is on Team Cyke, X-23 however, just joined the Avengers Academy, but would she turn her back on the X-Men if they needed her? And given the rocky relationship between Cyclops, Wolvie and Beast lately...I’d be surprised if Logan and Hank would aid Cyke against Captain America. Is mutant blood thicker than, well, Avenger blood? I guess we will find out!
I hope to see all my Montreal area Bleeders April 3rd at eXpertComics in Lasalle! And until next week, if ya gonna bleed, BLEED COMICS! Laters!