By Dave Michaels Published May 13, 2012 at 20:00
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Spoilery Alertness Disclaimer Thingy
So, I will warn everyone that this is a column that The Avengers film is discussed.
I tried my best not to spoil anything too badly, but if you havenâ€™t seen it yet, you may wanna wait before reading this! Â
And good god, man! Go see Avengers!!Â
So, I know everyoneâ€™s talking about it, and I just canâ€™t contain my excitement over it anymore. No Iâ€™m not talking about the blossoming “love” between Kim and Kanye or Kanyashian or whatever the heck they are calling them.
Iâ€™m talking about The Avengers movie, otherwise known as the film that Iâ€™m currently head over heels in love with. Aw man. I just had to do something on it.
After watching that thing all I could think of was, what was next?! I mean, sure it was completely opened up for a sequel (to the point where there was even a villain reveal in the midst of the credits that nearly made my jaw fall off), but I mean, there definitely needs to be more Avengers characters added to the roster.
They have pretty much over a hundred Marvel characters to choose from, so it wonâ€™t be easy. Iâ€™ve already talked about this extensively with other eXperts and eXpressers, and itâ€™s fun to speculate as to who Marvel could pull out of their sleeve for the big sequel.
Here are some of the heroes and heroines that I think could show up in a future Avengers movie and rock our socks off!
…and then some they REALLY should avoid putting up on the big screen.
Iâ€™m sorry to say it but Iâ€™ve never been a huge Vision fan.
Sure, I respect the character as an Avengers staple, but he was never as cool to me compared to other superheroes. And I just always thought the Scarlet Witch thing to be really weird. As much as I love my toaster (because toast is delicious), I would never get freaky with it. I don’t like toast THAT much. And like it or not, Vision is a machine.
But hey, Wanda always had a problem with â€śrealityâ€ť…
Rumours have been running wild, and with the death of a certain character in the film…many fans are speculating that that characterâ€™s brain waves may return inside the Avengersâ€™ mass manipulating synthezoid.
Itâ€™s an interesting point, but would people really CARE about Vision if he was adapted to the screen?
And would he be completely redesigned? Perhaps they could use the all-white Vishy from the 90â€™s as inspiration. All that green and yellow combined with that red face would maybe look bad if not too creepy on the big screen.
Wow, Shulkie keeps making her way into my columns week after week! I guess I must have a thing for tall, muscular green women.
Anyways! Iâ€™m not sure if Jenny would be best as a CG performance capture character like her cousin, or we can just paint Gina Carano green (I personally nominate myself for that job if you are reading this, Disney people…and I know you are. *squints eyes*), but I think it would be fun to see her up on the big screen since the character kicks all sorts of ass and has a great sense of humor.
And Shulkie, in my mind, has been more of a team player than The Hulk over the years.
Would she make the Black WidowÂ , who was amazing in the Avengers flick, seem a bit useless? Or would the writers find a way to make her and She-Hulk the cutest super-BFFs ever? Like, roommates and stuff.
Hmmm. Yeah, I’d watch that.
Thereâ€™s been a Luke Cage movie bouncing around Hollywood for years now.
It never really gains ground because the general public have no idea who Luke is, or how appealing the character could be. So how about introducing him in Avengers first?
Some people may think that Black Panther is a better choice for the first African-American Avenger (since, well, he WAS), but Iâ€™m more of a fan of Cage.
He has more attitude and charisma than Panther and his bulletproof powers would just be cool to see in a movie.
Who could play him?
Well, everyone from Tyrese Gibson (ick!) to The Old Spice Guy have expressed interest in the role, but the guy that reminds me of Luke Cage every time I see him is Terry Crews (The OTHER, funnier Old Spice Guy), heâ€™s not a young actor, but neither was Robert Downey Jr., and just look at how that turned out.
Um, yes please.
Sentry is Marvelâ€™s single coolest new character in the past 10 years. This hero (and I use that word lightly), is sort of like Superman…if Superman was bat$#!t crazy! I mean, when you are talking about loony…this guy is the definition of the word. Sentry wouldnâ€™t be something that Marvel movie-goers would be used to, which is exactly why he really, really should be used.
How messed up would it be if one of the Avengers was certifiably insane and his own arch-enemy?!
It would be pretty messed up. And I wanna see it.
Certainly Joss Whedon would direct the living CRAP outta The Sentry, another great reason to bring him into the fold. Joss just knows what we want to see! Someone would get hurled into the sun, no doubt.
Who could play him? How about True Blood’s Alexander SkarsgĂĄrd? He has the looks and creepiness about him, and his dad is already part of the Avengers film family(he’s Dr. Erik Selvig)…it would work, I tells ya.
Sentry on the big screen. Geekgasm.
I feel this is the most â€śmovie-readyâ€ť character in this column.
She wasn’t very popular in the comics when I was growing up (her Binary years), but lately she has become pretty much Marvel’s premiere heroine. Making her name quite fitting.
This blonde bombshell soaring through the sky and being the toughest thing in a singlet this side of the Kree Empire in live-action would be a sight to behold.
And with the next Avengers film no doubt diving headfirst into Marvelâ€™s cosmic realm, Ms. Marvel would be a perfect fit. Theyâ€™re gonna need some really powerful Avengers as well, and she qualifies there, too.
Strength, flying at great speeds, energy blasts, a big ‘ol red sash…Carolâ€™s got it all.
Also, if her costume is comic book accurate, every teenage boy in the world (okay every heterosexual male, actually) will be quite happy!
Those are the ones I would love to see on the big screen, but for every yin there is an inevitable yang. I have to be a responsible Bleeder. There are characters that the Avengers movies need to avoid like the Legacy Virus!!! No joke, these next 3 heroes have to stay where they belong: the 50Â˘ bin!
This will only take a minute, I just gotta warn the masses! It’s my duty.
No, I donâ€™t mean the Nintendo video game character!
I mean this guy with the poormanâ€™s Wolverine hairdo. Now, believe it or not, he is closely associated with a certain character (whom shall not be named!) that appears in the first Avengers film, so I suppose this guy may not be completely out of the running to appear in a future sequel.
Starfox maybe had his moment on the Avengers during the 80â€™s, but since then heâ€™s been pretty Â much considered a B-grade superheroâ€¦really only showing up in cameos and guest shots (thank God).
I donâ€™t know what I really have against Starfox, to be honest. Heâ€™s just one of those characters I wish got eaten by a pack of space piranhas. That is all.
Jack of Hearts
Ohmygod, kill itâ€¦kill it with fire.
I have no idea how this disaster got past my â€śWorst Costumes Everâ€ť column, this costume gives me a frikinâ€™ headache every time I look at it. He looks like heâ€™s wearing one of Elton Johnâ€™s old costumes from the late 70â€™s.
I didn’t forget about you, Jack! You cannot be this terrible and hide from the Bleederâ€™s wrath for too long!Â Just imagining Jack of Hearts being in a movie makes me noxious.
I know, it will very probably never happenâ€¦but Iâ€™m just laying this out there, just in case. I would rather Howard The Duck join the movie Avengers. And Iâ€™m not talking about some revamped CG version of Howard (which would be horrible enough to make my point, actually). I mean the 80â€™s horrible movie little-person-in-a-costume, Howard The Duck!
Itâ€™s like someone swallowed a pack of cards and threw up on this guy.
I know, I know! Sheâ€™s a founding Avengers member and a team staple. But please, if someone would explain to me how in the world you would adapt Wasp into the Marvel Movieverse without making her look like Julia Robertsâ€™ Tinkerbell in Hook? (oh yeah, I went there)
Waspâ€™s pretty much a fairy guys. Sure, a fairy made with science, but a tiny little lady with wings is a fairy to me. Any way you put it.
I know she could very well show up in a sequel. Itâ€™s extremely possible. Especially if Disney wants her in. Â I just donâ€™t think this character would look awesome to me at all in that sort of movie. And there’s not much that isn’t awesome in the first Avengers movie. But hey, every 4 year old little girl would absolutely love her.
So perhaps thatâ€™s a bunch of merchandise sold right there.
If it happens, I would be scared. But I probably maybe would get over it. Possibly.
There you have it, Bleederphiles. I just heard the flick could’ve made $95-105 million this weekendâ€¦making it the best second weekend in movie history! Itâ€™s become the fastest moneymaking film ever, guys.
How about them apples?
And no matter who shows up in a sequel (or one of the Avengersâ€™ individual films), it seems itâ€™s clear that our people, those who bleed comics, have inherited the world!!!
Sorry. See you next week, guys. Bleed Out!
Remember, if ya gonna bleed, BLEED COMICS!
eXpect eXcellence. We are eXPress News on eXpertComics.com
Â©2012 eXpertComics.com | Full Page Bleed| Dave Michaels
|Tags:||Alexander Skarsgard, Avengers, Black Panther, Black Widow, Gina Carano, Howard The Duck, Hulk, Jack of Hearts, Joss Whedon, Luke Cage, Ms. Marvel, Sentry, She Hulk, Starfox, Superman, Terry Crews, The Wasp, True Blood, Tyrese Gibson, Vision