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Spoilery Alertness Disclaimer Thingy

So, I will warn everyone that this is a column that The Avengers film is discussed.

I tried my best not to spoil anything too badly, but if you haven’t seen it yet, you may wanna wait before reading this!  

And good god, man! Go see Avengers!! 

 

So, I know everyone’s talking about it, and I just can’t contain my excitement over it anymore. No I’m not talking about the blossoming “love” between Kim and Kanye or Kanyashian or whatever the heck they are calling them.

I’m talking about The Avengers movie, otherwise known as the film that I’m currently head over heels in love with. Aw man. I just had to do something on it.

After watching that thing all I could think of was, what was next?! I mean, sure it was completely opened up for a sequel (to the point where there was even a villain reveal in the midst of the credits that nearly made my jaw fall off), but I mean, there definitely needs to be more Avengers characters added to the roster.

They have pretty much over a hundred Marvel characters to choose from, so it won’t be easy. I’ve already talked about this extensively with other eXperts and eXpressers, and it’s fun to speculate as to who Marvel could pull out of their sleeve for the big sequel.

Here are some of the heroes and heroines that I think could show up in a future Avengers movie and rock our socks off!

…and then some they REALLY should avoid putting up on the big screen.

 

 

I’m sorry to say it but I’ve never been a huge Vision fan.

Sure, I respect the character as an Avengers staple, but he was never as cool to me compared to other superheroes. And I just always thought the Scarlet Witch thing to be really weird. As much as I love my toaster (because toast is delicious), I would never get freaky with it. I don’t like toast THAT much. And like it or not, Vision is a machine.

But hey, Wanda always had a problem with “reality”…

Rumours have been running wild, and with the death of a certain character in the film…many fans are speculating that that character’s brain waves may return inside the Avengers’ mass manipulating synthezoid.

It’s an interesting point, but would people really CARE about Vision if he was adapted to the screen?

And would he be completely redesigned? Perhaps they could use the all-white Vishy from the 90’s as inspiration. All that green and yellow combined with that red face would maybe look bad if not too creepy on the big screen.

 

She-Hulk

Wow, Shulkie keeps making her way into my columns week after week! I guess I must have a thing for tall, muscular green women.

Or something.

Anyways! I’m not sure if Jenny would be best as a CG performance capture character like her cousin, or we can just paint Gina Carano green (I personally nominate myself for that job if you are reading this, Disney people…and I know you are. *squints eyes*), but I think it would be fun to see her up on the big screen since the character kicks all sorts of ass and has a great sense of humor.

And Shulkie, in my mind, has been more of a team player than The Hulk over the years.

Would she make the Black Widow , who was amazing in the Avengers flick, seem a bit useless? Or would the writers find a way to make her and She-Hulk the cutest super-BFFs ever? Like, roommates and stuff.

Hmmm. Yeah, I’d watch that.

 

 

 

 

 

There’s been a Luke Cage movie bouncing around Hollywood for years now.

It never really gains ground because the general public have no idea who Luke is, or how appealing the character could be. So how about introducing him in Avengers first?

Some people may think that Black Panther is a better choice for the first African-American Avenger (since, well, he WAS), but I’m more of a fan of Cage.

He has more attitude and charisma than Panther and his bulletproof powers would just be cool to see in a movie.

Who could play him?

Well, everyone from Tyrese Gibson (ick!) to The Old Spice Guy have expressed interest in the role, but the guy that reminds me of Luke Cage every time I see him is Terry Crews (The OTHER, funnier Old Spice Guy), he’s not a young actor, but neither was Robert Downey Jr., and just look at how that turned out.

 

 


The Sentry

Um, yes please.

Sentry is Marvel’s single coolest new character in the past 10 years. This hero (and I use that word lightly), is sort of like Superman…if Superman was bat$#!t crazy! I mean, when you are talking about loony…this guy is the definition of the word. Sentry wouldn’t be something that Marvel movie-goers would be used to, which is exactly why he really, really should be used.

How messed up would it be if one of the Avengers was certifiably insane and his own arch-enemy?!

It would be pretty messed up. And I wanna see it.

Certainly Joss Whedon would direct the living CRAP outta The Sentry, another great reason to bring him into the fold. Joss just knows what we want to see! Someone would get hurled into the sun, no doubt.

Who could play him? How about True Blood’s Alexander SkarsgĂĄrd? He has the looks and creepiness about him, and his dad is already part of the Avengers film family(he’s Dr. Erik Selvig)…it would work, I tells ya.

Sentry on the big screen. Geekgasm.

 

 

Ms. Marvel

 

I feel this is the most “movie-ready” character in this column.

She wasn’t very popular in the comics when I was growing up (her Binary years), but lately she has become pretty much Marvel’s premiere heroine. Making her name quite fitting.

This blonde bombshell soaring through the sky and being the toughest thing in a singlet this side of the Kree Empire in live-action would be a sight to behold.

And with the next Avengers film no doubt diving headfirst into Marvel’s cosmic realm, Ms. Marvel would be a perfect fit. They’re gonna need some really powerful Avengers as well, and she qualifies there, too.

Strength, flying at great speeds, energy blasts, a big ‘ol red sash…Carol’s got it all.

Also, if her costume is comic book accurate, every teenage boy in the world (okay every heterosexual male, actually) will be quite happy!

 

 

Those are the ones I would love to see on the big screen, but for every yin there is an inevitable yang. I have to be a responsible Bleeder. There are characters that the Avengers movies need to avoid like the Legacy Virus!!! No joke, these next 3 heroes have to stay where they belong: the 50¢ bin!

This will only take a minute, I just gotta warn the masses! It’s my duty.

 

 

Starfox

No, I don’t mean the Nintendo video game character!

I mean this guy with the poorman’s Wolverine hairdo. Now, believe it or not, he is closely associated with a certain character (whom shall not be named!) that appears in the first Avengers film, so I suppose this guy may not be completely out of the running to appear in a future sequel.

How scary!

Starfox maybe had his moment on the Avengers during the 80’s, but since then he’s been pretty  much considered a B-grade superhero…really only showing up in cameos and guest shots (thank God).

I don’t know what I really have against Starfox, to be honest. He’s just one of those characters I wish got eaten by a pack of space piranhas. That is all.

 

 

Jack of Hearts

Ohmygod, kill it…kill it with fire.

I have no idea how this disaster got past my “Worst Costumes Ever” column, this costume gives me a frikin’ headache every time I look at it. He looks like he’s wearing one of Elton John’s old costumes from the late 70’s.

Good lord.

I didn’t forget about you, Jack! You cannot be this terrible and hide from the Bleeder’s wrath for too long! Just imagining Jack of Hearts being in a movie makes me noxious.

I know, it will very probably never happen…but I’m just laying this out there, just in case. I would rather Howard The Duck join the movie Avengers. And I’m not talking about some revamped CG version of Howard (which would be horrible enough to make my point, actually). I mean the 80’s horrible movie little-person-in-a-costume, Howard The Duck!

It’s like someone swallowed a pack of cards and threw up on this guy.

I know, I know! She’s a founding Avengers member and a team staple. But please, if someone would explain to me how in the world you would adapt Wasp into the Marvel Movieverse without making her look like Julia Roberts’ Tinkerbell in Hook? (oh yeah, I went there)

Wasp’s pretty much a fairy guys. Sure, a fairy made with science, but a tiny little lady with wings is a fairy to me. Any way you put it.

I know she could very well show up in a sequel. It’s extremely possible. Especially if Disney wants her in.  I just don’t think this character would look awesome to me at all in that sort of movie. And there’s not much that isn’t awesome in the first Avengers movie. But hey, every 4 year old little girl would absolutely love her.

So perhaps that’s a bunch of merchandise sold right there.

If it happens, I would be scared. But I probably maybe would get over it. Possibly.

 

 

There you have it, Bleederphiles. I just heard the flick could’ve made $95-105 million this weekend…making it the best second weekend in movie history! It’s become the fastest moneymaking film ever, guys.

How about them apples?

And no matter who shows up in a sequel (or one of the Avengers’ individual films), it seems it’s clear that our people, those who bleed comics, have inherited the world!!!

Maahahahahahaa! *cough*

Sorry. See you next week, guys. Bleed Out!

Remember, if ya gonna bleed, BLEED COMICS!

eXpect eXcellence. We are eXPress News on eXpertComics.com

Columnist: Dave Michaels Twitter – @expertcomicsFPB Email – dave@expertcomics.com

©2012 eXpertComics.com | Full Page Bleed| Dave Michaels

 

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     Leave A Comment   Comments (5)  
    Dan Robertson

    Dan Robertson

    May 13th, 2012 @ 20:02

    OK so now I’m a four year old girl, cause I want to see Wasp in the next Avengers, Starfox I have the power to seduce women with my smell, WHAT! Great read, great column!

    Albatorak

    May 15th, 2012 @ 15:35

    I like the ideas above… My humble little AVENGERS 2 scenario!!!

    1) First Marvel should give us the rumoured Guardians of the Galaxy movie and present the viewers with more Thanos back-ground for non-comics fans. Maybe have Thanos could talk a bit about Titan, the Eternal and Starfox before destroying a Kree outpost of some nature (you could see Ms. Marvel’s last minute escape from some cell).

    2) Fast forward to The Avengers 2 – You see a spaceship with Ms. Marvel and Starfox, both crashing to Earth to warn us of the coming of Thanos. Add a little Ms. Marvel “Shield” back-ground and you have 2 new members for the story.

    So… what do you think???

    Albatorak

    May 15th, 2012 @ 15:44

    I like the ideas above… My humble little AVENGERS 2 scenario!!!

    1) First Marvel should give us the rumoured Guardians of the Galaxy movie and present the viewers with more Thanos back-ground for non-comics fans. Maybe have Thanos could talk a bit about Titan, the Eternal and Starfox before destroying a Kree outpost of some nature (you could see Ms. Marvel’s last minute escape from some cell).

    Albatorak

    May 15th, 2012 @ 15:45

    2) Fast forward to The Avengers 2 – You see a spaceship with Ms. Marvel and Starfox, both crashing to Earth to warn us of the coming of Thanos. Add a little Ms. Marvel “Shield” back-ground and you have 2 new members for the story.

    So… what do you think???

    Dave Michaels

    DaveMichaels

    May 15th, 2012 @ 21:59

    ew, no Starfox….make it The Protector and I’m okay with it.

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